Day 29

And on the twenty-ninth day the mustache rested, for mustache had done all it could. Joy, laughter, crying children, free donuts; these are just a few of the things that come with mustache. It's been a long hard twenty-eight old friend.

Mustache wasn't feeling well this weekend, so I took him in to the mustache doctor. The doctor gave me some horrifying news, he told me that mustache wasn't doing to well and he gave him a week to live. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed to the heavens(whilst pulling on mustache). Not yet, not until mustache monday you filthy animal. It's a sad, sad situation to see a mustache so young, so verile, to be cut down in the prime of his life.

Day 23: WWMD

My mustache is trying to get all buff for swimsuit season. The other day I caught mustache flexing in the mirror trying to suck in his gut. Nice try mustache, but you're not looking like Ken Patera just yet, the singlet looks pretty sweet though.

I decided to part my mustache right down the middle, just like the Red Sea. If it was good enough for Moses, then I'm pretty sure I should do it. I should probably come up with a list of ten or so mustache commandments now. The first being, If you don't have a mustache, you can go straight to hell.

Day 4: Glengarry Glenmustache

PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN! Coffee is for mustaches only.

I know what you must be asking yourself, and the answer is yes, my mustache does tickle, but it is fully trained in shiatsu massage.

I was walking down the street yesterday and a group of elderly nuns were staring at my mustache. All of a sudden they began to weep at the sheer beauty that is mustache. One of them managed the courage to look directly upon the mustache and while she did she asked: " Who do you think you are with that mustache on your face?" Before I could say anything my mustache screamed: "F**K YOU! That's who I am, now go in the kitchen and fix me a turkey pot pie."

Wow, my mustache is a badass.

Day 3, the sweetest of all days

Today my alarm didn't wake me up, I was roused out of my slumber by my mustache. My mustache decided to wake me up by singing a soothing yet still alarming rendition of the theme to "Different Strokes". Yes mustache I agree, it does take different strokes to rule the world, it also takes a different kind of mustache.



Today I've decided to let my furry mange grow until it reaches Magnum status, or at least a Ditka... Powerstache...grow you filthy animal GROW!

Day 2 ( sorry day one )

It is officially day two of "28 days of mustache" month and I've got to say I feel slighlty more distinguished and less like a greasy Poncherelli today.

My upper lip had a nightmare last night. It dreamt that a hairy monster was trying to suffacate it and it woke up screaming. When I asked my upper lip what was wrong it told me about the horrific nightmare. I told my upper lip not to be frightened, one upper lips nightmare is another man's wet dream.